Valentines wanted

Posted on CL for shits and giggles.

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As I was browsing the personals ads on Craigslist, which I often do, I had an epiphany. I must post on Craigslist and organize a sexy single mingle for Valentine's Day. I have often thought it'd be fun to post an ad and see what kind of responses I'd get, but to be honest, I'm a big fat chicken. This "group hang" approach seems to be pretty safe. I will not end up on a missing person's list because it is much harder to abduct a girl when she part of a posse; I will not have to arrange for my friends to call me fifteen minutes into the date telling me there is a pressing "emergency" I must leave the date for; I will not wake up naked next to an ugly man I have no recollection of ever meeting (friends don't let friends go home with beer goggles on).

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays of the year (second only to Halloween and Thanksgiving, which are tied for first place). I think it's wonderful that there is one day out of every year that is dedicated to the celebration of love. As cheesy and commercialized as it has become, I can't help but smile when I see boxes of chocolates and long-stemmed roses. But in spite of my unwavering enthusiasm for the holiday itself, I find myself single more often than not, and while I'd like a special guy to lavish my attentions on, I'm more than happy to kick it with my other single girl friends and go out in search of love, lust, and everything in between. The problem we face, however, is a lack of male participants in this grand scheme of ours to meet hot guys at a bar and make you fall madly in love with us. At least for the evening. You know. In the spirit of the holiday.

The Megans and I are blissfully single but ready to mingle! Singles who are sad, depressed, or otherwise wallowing in self-pity are not allowed. This is a party for people who want to have a good time quoting from obnoxiously funny movies and do not start crying or become combative after consuming copious amounts of alcohol. Because when it hits your lips... it's so good!

Meet the ladies.

I don't know how to put this... but we're kind of a big deal.

Melody. Tattoo on the lower back. Might as well be a bullseye! She likes sunsets and long walks on the beach, in addition to live music, dancing, and drinking. Melody's pet peeves include men who don't use spell-check in written communication and don't know the difference between "your" and "you're," "to" and "too," "except" and "accept," and "passed" and "past." Melody is just starting to learn how football works; she still cheers during instant replays. She's got a thing for undercover nerds, guys who like books and watching the Discovery channel but seem like dumb frat boys or brooding musicians at first glance. Her ideal date includes either tacos or sushi (no food bigots, please) and a rousing round of Scrabble. And maybe some whiskey.

Megan. I'm just gonna throw this out there... I want to be on you. Megan has a thing for curly hair, crooked noses, and muscles. If you have any of the above, you've just scored yourself some bonus points. However, she is an equal opportunity dater and enjoys men with foreign accents. Heck, the language of love is universal, right? Megan is a Vikings fan who runs half marathons for fun and could probably outswim most of the guys we know, and she's frickin' Betty Crocker when it comes to baking. She knows more non-PC jokes than almost anyone, with the exception of her sister Steph. She's a sucker for guys with a sense of humor. And a six-pack doesn't hurt.

Meaghan. Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish! Meaghan is our resident fashionista. She's the go-to girl when it comes to what to wear and how to wear it. She's super laid-back and is the type of girl that guys love to hang out with, even when they're watching football, bc she won't talk through the game. You might find her at a sports bar with her guy friends drinking beer and watching the game, or at a trendy lounge in Hollywood wearing some stylin' threads sipping on a gin and tonic. She's versatile like that. Meaghan likes tall boys who like to eat. She is an excellent cook, especially if you're a chili or chowder fan. If you can pull off the aviator look, you have one step up on the other guys lined up for this chickadee.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to e-mail us and tell us a little about yourself and preferably two of your equally fun friends (although you are not required to bring friends). Answer the following questions:

1. What's your first name? (We don't need your last; we're not trying to get married.)
2. How old are you? (If you are not yet of legal drinking age or you are old enough to be our fathers, you needn't respond.)
3. Anything else you think might be interesting or important.

Please include recent photos where the majority of your face is NOT covered by massive sunglasses (actually, if you are a guy who wears massive sunglasses, don't bother replying to us) or a hat whose brim allows us only a glimpse of your chin, no matter how sexy it may be. We want to see more. If you want more pics of us, let us know. We'll be looking for at least three good men. It's possible that other gal pals of ours will want to get in on this sexy single mingle thing and we may need more manpower then.