Maybe I'm crazy

I spent Thanksgiving, not with family, but with a special friend of mine. Thanksgiving break for me began on Tuesday morning. I was completely and totally unproductive at work because I was far too excited to care much about being productive. By the time I actually went to the airport to pick up my guest, I was pretty much worthless the rest of the day.

I made lasagna from scratch for the first time ever. It was a little bit undersauced, but I think it was acceptable as a first attempt from someone who didn't even have a recipe for it. I was surprised to discover C's complete and utter lack of BBQ skills. Isn't it like an unwritten rule that men are supposed to know how to grill, even if they can't cook to save their lives? I really wanted to see Pride and Prejudice and he humoured me. After the movie, he shocked me: Caveman C actually enjoyed the movie. He calls me Mrs. Darcy sometimes. I can only assume that it suggests he is incandescently happy. When I asked him what animal he felt best represented him, he said he's most like a beaver: industrious, hardworking, always trying to build that dam(n) only to have it swept away with one little leak. C asked me why I dated Frenchy. I didn't know it had bothered him so much. I didn't think he cared. He thinks the cartoon character that best represents me is Garfield: clever but always looking for a way to cut corners. He also didn't say he thought I was a fatso cat who likes to eat all the time, but I think that's pretty accurate, too. We played a lot of Scrabble, and we even took a blanket outside and played Scrabble in the park. What a granny thing to do, huh? I don't like watching the Discovery Health Channel; I find it "soporific," which was the vocabulary word of the week.

We still talk on the phone nightly, and when I go out, I feel this strange nonchalance about meeting men. We're not together, and I suppose if I met someone who absolutely blew me away, I'd be open to going on a date, but I've really been ducking some guys I met before who want to hang out, and I would rather go home and talk to C. I have hung out with guy friends and actually felt a little guilty about our closeness, as if I were doing something wrong, though I know I didn't. It's weird. Yet I don't feel a need to give us a title. I like the way we are right now, but I know I'd be hurt if I found out he was seeing someone else or dating around. But 3000 miles is long ways apart.

Maybe I am not the one you had in mind
Maybe I'm not the one that you thought was your type
Maybe I'm not the one that you've been dreaming of
Maybe I'm not the one you thought would bring you love

But maybe I'm just what you need
And maybe I

You tell me I think too much
You say that I dream too much
And tell me I feel too much
Yeah maybe I do

You say that I say too much
You tell me I believe too much
And maybe I hope too much
Maybe you do too

I don't need to be the one to change your life
I don't need to be the one you call your wife
And I don't need to be the one that you run to
And I don't need to be everything to you

But maybe I'm just what you need
And maybe I

You tell me I think too much
You say that I dream too much
And tell me I feel too much
Yeah maybe I do

You say that I say too much
You tell me I believe too much
And maybe I hope too much
Maybe you do too