Love yourself

It's tough, but necessary. Before being able to give fully to another person, you must love yourself.

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

I think too often, we seek some sort of completion of self in another person. Does that strike anyone else as oxymoronic? But we are, I believe, at our best when we are happy with who we are and where we are in life. That is when we have the most to offer to others. Our own happiness, though, should never be dependent on anyone or anything else. How you get to be happy, I couldn't tell you, but I do know you gotta love yourself first.

Sacrificing for relationships, by the way, is bullshit. Sacrifice, by definition, is giving without any intent of receiving. If all you ever do is sacrifice for love, you're in a fucked up relationship. The way I see it, everything in a relationship ought to be reciprocol. If you give, the other person better be giving something back, too. I'm not saying it's gotta be an eye for an eye kind of thing, just that in the larger scheme of the relationship, there should be some kind of balance. Otherwise, you're not respecting yourself and you're settling for less than you deserve. Don't bend over backwards for someone who does not want to bend at all. Understand, though, that the other person may not bend the same way that you do. If they are trying, great. The effort is what counts, first. As long as the will is there, the rest will follow. If you value yourself, you will find it easier and easier not to waste your time with relationships that are not worth it. This goes for romance and friendship alike. I guess what I'm trying to say is make sure you've got your own shit straight, that you are comfortable in your own skin, before you go off on some quest to save someone from himself. Don't try to be someone else's crutch if you're having trouble standing strong on your own. You are your own best friend, and your own worst enemy, and probably your harshest critic, too. Once you learn self-love, the love you have to give to others will be less flawed and more fulfilling.