Thursday, August 23, 2007

Toto, I've Got a Feeling We're Not In Kansas Anymore

The Wizard of Oz, with all its questions of direction and purpose, is a very fitting theme for this point in my life. Thus begins my second attempt at themed e-mailing. It's long, but if you are wondering where I am/ will be, skip to the bottom.

Wicked Witch of the West: I'm melting! I'm melting!
It is flippin' hot outside. Thanks to its peninsula status, Korea enjoys hot and humid summers that force me to take multiple showers a day. I am increasingly confined to my cool, air-conditioned quarters, and let me tell ya... sitting in a 12x12 room for x number of hours per day gets old reeeally fast. What I wouldn't give to be in sunny, breezy Los Angeles where the dry heat is offset by Pacific winds and the palm trees sway in rhythm with the rolling tides... you get the picture. Seoul is a jungle of concrete and sweat. My trip to Japan to see JYeh and Schwartzy was a welcome break from the routine, and Tokyo's post-typhoon weather was gray, but mercifully cool.

Wizard of Oz: Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma.
I graduate from my MBA program on August 25th. I will then have yet another diploma that suggests I learned something of value at a seat of great learning. It's almost been an entire year in Seoul for me, but the deepest thoughts I've had have usually involved where I would travel next.

Dorothy: Now which way do we go? Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way. Dorothy: Who said that? [Toto barks at scarecrow] Dorothy: Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don't talk. Scarecrow: [points other way] It's pleasant down that way, too. Dorothy: That's funny. Wasn't he pointing the other way? Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways.
No, no. I am not using this to nonchalantly segue into a story about how I've decided I'm bisexual or anything. Sorry to disappoint if you have, like me, your mind in the gutter 79% of the time. This snippet falls in my 21%.

I'm pretty confused about which of the many paths to take at this fork in the yellow brick road. The world may be my oyster but does this oyster really have to be so damn big? How will I ever find my pearl? I'm considering the following options at the moment:

  1. Work
    Cowardly Lion : All right, I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there. There's only one thing I want you fellows to do.
    Tin Woodsman, Scarecrow: What's that?
    Cowardly Lion
    : Talk me out of it.

    I do want a job; kind of. The idea of working isn't all that appealing, but the thought of making money again has me longing for the good ol' commodity brokerage days, except I don't want to be a commodity broker anymore. I searched far and wide for jobs abroad, but with my current level of work experience, I can't get a job in Europe because no one thinks I'm worth the hassle of finding an EU work permit. Woe is (part of) me. The other part is doing the cabbage patch.

  2. Travel in SE Asia
    Dorothy : Lions and tigers and bears! Oh, my!

    I don't know when I'll be in Asia again, or when I'll have this much free time thanks to my aforementioned unemployed status. I dream of terracotta soldiers and the Plain of Jars, of Ankur Wat and longboats on the lush green banks of the Mekong Delta... And then the thought of traveling alone scares me. I met some awesome people who were traveling through SE Asia alone when I was in Vietnam, and they inspired me. But now that it's time to take the plunge, I'm hesitating, much like I did at the edge of the 53 meter (174 foot) bungee jump off Hantan bridge last weekend. If you want to see a video of my body flailing helplessly at the mercy of gravity, let me know. I'll hook you up with some video footage.

  3. Volunteer in SE Asia
    Cowardly Lion: I- I- I hope my strength holds out.
    Tin Woodsman: [hanging by Lion's tail] I hope your tail holds out!

    I want to travel, but it seems a little bit selfish. To make myself feel better, I looked into some opportunities to volunteer in SE Asia. There are orphanages and children who can't afford English tutors located conveniently on the tropical shores of Indonesia and the magical mountains of Northern Thailand. Now if only I can get the volunteer org to help me find a way to finance inter-volunteering vacations...

  4. More school
    Wizard of Oz : Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.
    Scarecrow: ThD?
    Wizard of Oz: That's... Doctor of Thinkology.

    I reeeeeally want to move to Europe, but since no one will hire me for the kind of job I want in Europe without fluency in a European language other than English, I will need to become fluent. My best shot at fluency is French, but no one will hire me to work in France if I am not already fluent, so school is my only other option. Since I'll have a masters degree , the next logical step is a PhD, so I'll be applying to some PhD programs at French business schools in fall 2008. After 4 years in France, there's got to be someone willing to hire me there... *fingers crossed*

  5. Go back to the US
    Dorothy : There's no place like home!

    I've been fighting the homesickness with fantasies of flight, but it's coming over me like a wave of nausea on a Saturday morning following a big Friday night: there's just no stopping it. I miss LA, I miss my friends in the US, and I miss my mom and brother. My lil bro Dan just got out of the Marines, so he's home now. I haven't seen him since January 2006! One thing I do not miss is northern Virginia, but I feel like a stint back in NoVa might do me some good. Get me grounded again. Not to mention allow me to hang out with all the NoVans, drive my car, and abuse BBQ and basement karaoke privileges Chez Han. I haven't been in the US or any Western country for a full year now. I wonder if I'll suffer from reverse culture shock... and if so, who will cure me?
Since I'm feeling nostalgic, homesick, and corny, I'll close with this:

Wizard of Oz: A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.

Ultimately, I want to be at the place where I can be with the ones I love, and the ones who love me back. Ideally, it'll involve tequila, but that's negotiable. Follow through...